story of an asshole.

This is not like the latest gossipy entry off a popular blog. It’s not about lipstick, shoes, boobs, crunchy bars, cocktails or Thai-red curry. And if you have more than a peanut-sized-squishy-pink-mass inside your head, you better read this.

The war in iraq – well it wasn’t a war really, more like one man’s personal vendetta – started exactly five years ago. I was in Year 10 of high school then, more worried about grades and acne than grenades and lives. Over the years I’ve become more aware of it, and finally today, having more than superficial knowledge about it I decided that I should write about it. I mean, it’s pretty late, this should have been done ages ago, and not by me, but by the world.

For those of you who’ve been like me – ignorant to the issue till date, or not caring enough to do anything, let me start off by some nice facts about
the war:

I am Bush, who is the UN? I don’t give my dog’s ass:

On 27 January, 2003, Hans Blix, the guy the UN entrusted with finding out if Iraq had any weapons of mass destruction says that Iraq is not co-operating, but that does not mean it has the weapons. In fact on March 7, he acknowledges the progress made by Iraq.

On 10 March, 2003, Kofi Annan, the UN Secretary General warns the U.S. that a war without the UNs approval would violate the UN Charter. Notice that on February 5, the US told the UN Security Council that Iraq has been in “material breach” of many a UN Resolutions and therefore, should be invaded.

Finally, on March 17 – a mere week after Annan’s warning – the US abandoned efforts to garner international support for the invasion and invaded Iraq on the 20th of March.

On 28 June, 2004, the US formally “returns sovereignty” to Iraq. Big Brother Bush is kind enough to shower his benevolence on the Iraqi people. All bow before Bush. Thank you, o’ messiah of hope and flag bearer of democracy, thank you.

Bush: I hate Saddam, he doesn’t cook well:

We all know why Iraq was invaded and Saddam captured, right? Because of weapons of mass destruction, remember. And we all know how Bush likes pretzels better than WMDs. Interestingly though, on 19 October, 2005, when Saddam is put to trial, he is only charged for killing of 148 Shi’ite men in Dujail in 1982. Nothing else. And he is found guilty and hanged to death, on this sole charge of killing 148 people way back in 1982. And we invaded a whole country for that! I mean, the Indian Thug Behram – the most prolific serial killer in the world – killed 931 people, why didn’t Bush invade India? Maybe because he likes curry.

Now it’s a game.

In fact, on 10 January, 2007, well after everything is over Bush sends 21,500 more soldiers to Iraq. I have no idea, why.

I was looking for you.

Now all along Bush was looking for this girl, wasn’t he? [June 30, 2007: A girl holds her hands up while US troops search her home. Thomson-Reuters]

Anyway, this probably is just another post on just another blog. Nothing more than grass you would trample on while walking. I mean that Bush was (and is) single handedly responsible for the death of 1.2 million people (Source: ORB) is no big deal now, is it?

We all know that most of the casualties of the war have been civilians and innocent bystanders. Obviously, in a war this is bound to happen, isn’t it. Just compare all of this with a fatwa issued by Mamdouh Mahmud Salim declaring that the killing of someone standing near the enemy is justified because any innocent bystander will find their proper reward in death, going to Paradise if they were good Muslims and to Hell if they were bad or non-believers. ( Testimony of Mahmud Salim in US v. Usama bin Laden, et al.) Seems like Bush followed this philosophy.

How the f*ck did that guy become the President of an entire country. I mean I’m in that country right now and the people seem pretty intelligent. He was elected a second time too! I mean, c’mon you guys, life is more than late night comedy shows, Oprah and beer.

Anyway, I should stop now, maybe he decides to cancel all Indian visas because of I, or worse – and quite possibly – decides to invade India. And in case that happens, I doubt that all this blabber to you would be of any help.

For more information goto:

It woke me up.

“…In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
Bring sad thoughts to the mind.”
– Wordsworth


~ by Shashank Kumar on June 8, 2008.

One Response to “story of an asshole.”

  1. Yeah, we all agree on this.

    I’m good. I see you’re globe trotting? Don’t trot too fast or too fast, now, y’hear? Mmm’hmm?

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