I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all those French beaches I’d never see

I am irritated to the point of cracking open a hummingbird’s skull right now. There are times when it feels as if someone is dribbling a basketball inside my head: monotonous thud, thud, thud… or exciting bang, bang, bang of a Heckler & Koch MP5. Its as if my head is this confused kitchen of some cheap motel on a busy freeway. The chef’s shouting for the salmond, the waiter wants the burritos and then gunshots are heard in the lobby driving the receptionist nuts, or dead. Inside it’s like the black and white specks – the noise – you see on T.V. when the cable breaks or the cable operator accidentally switches it off while trying to land the fries in the ketchup, stub fingers. Dont you find it irritating – the noise. And you do not want to ask me the reasons, because the list would be measurable in parsec(s), from the dog pissing on the road to the satellite bombinating in space. I would be closer to the dog. I can knock down a 1000 pound Bull right now, or so I happily seem to believe.

That was an attempt to freeze a frame of my thoughts (at the speed of dim light), when Im irritated. Oh yes, Im irritated. I guess Im just moody, impulsive, erratic and all that stuff which “wise” people arent made of. And I am happy being me, the ignorant, secluded, solitary breathing creature in his own bubble. Though I do want to touch the world outside, at times.

Am off for my ritual evening run for now. Maybe Id run a 100 miles today. It makes me numb (comfortably so) and I love it.

Go fight.


~ by Shashank Kumar on May 20, 2006.

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